Percussion!

The mallets? The masseuse's hard fingertips on my body all over (snare drum); her fists hammering me all over (kettle drum), her flat hands slapping me hard all over (bongo) and her bony knuckles running up and down my ribs (xylophone). For a rubenesque lady this masseuse (different from last week) had surprisingly bony hands, and boy, did she use them. The condition 'glue ear' which young children used to be operated on (when the middle ear is filled with gunge) has found a new meaning - it's when you are lying face down on a stony bench, with one ear pressed against the tiles, someone presses hard on your back and a vacuum appears between your ear and the bench. At the end of all this she discharged me with a hearty slap on my rear! Thank goodness I am not totally thin yet.

Interestingly I tried another set of baths nextdoor first, but I fled when I heard the price of 35 lari (about 16 Euros) for an hour plus 10 for a massage. Maybe I misunderstood something and they wanted to put me in a private cabin, but what for. The one I will go to regularly is 13 lari for everything in a communal shower room - and we are all equally attractive....